Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Crying it Out Update.

The next day, my mom got Charlie to sleep on his own. He cried on and off for 30 minutes then slept for 30 minutes. In the morning he fell asleep on Rob so that didn't really count.

Tuesday was bad. Charlie had slept for 12 hours the night before and woke up at 7:00 am. Rob called me at work at 8:20 am telling me he was rubbing his eyes and what should he do (my mom gets to my house to watch Charlie around 9:00 am). I said "I guess put him down if he is rubbing his eyes." Rob put him in the pack n play and he cried for I believe about an hour and my mom and Rob decided to take him out. I noticed Rob had rsvp'd to an evite a couple minutes before calling me to tell me he was rubbing his eyes. This tells me he was in the office holding Charlie and not downstairs playing with Charlie. My guess is with a 12 hour night of sleeping, he was rubbing his eyes because he was still waking up or bored. So putting him down was the wrong decision. FAIL. Bummer. That afternoon my mom let Charlie sleep on her because she felt bad from his bad morning. That night he went down by sleeping on the bottle again, and got another twelve hours of sleep.

This morning it was my turn because I don't work Wednesdays. Charlie woke up at 6:40 am. I was determined to not put him down until at least 9:30 am. I wanted to make sure he was tired before putting him down. I started feeding him around 9:45 am and put him down in his pack n play at 10:05 am. He was content until 10:18 am - then the crying started. He cried on and off and I never went into the room. I've heard that some moms think going in makes the crying worse so I wanted to try this technique. Plus he wasn't wailing or crying really hard (or else I would have gone in there for sure). After a long 57 minutes (3 minutes before I was going to give up), he fell asleep on his own! Victory. He only slept for 30 minutes. Not great but he fell asleep on his own so I'm happy about that.

Then round 2 came - the afternoon nap. I started feeding him at 1:35 pm. He fell asleep on the bottle, I tried to put him down and he woke up. I picked him up, let him finish the bottle then put him in the pack n play. I put the fan on, gave him his seahorse and told him g'nite. He was crying. :( This time he cried on and off for 32 minutes - MUCH better! He slept again for only 30 minutes but again, he got to sleep on his own.

Rob is upstairs now giving him a bottle before bed. I fully expect him to pass out again and have a good nights sleep. Now the pressure is on for Mimi to not surrender to her cutie pie grandson's cries. You can do it, Mimi!


Anonymous said...

I follow your blog and really enjoy it normally, but after this post I won't be able to read it any more.
I know sleep issues can be hard but I'm shocked you are letting him CIO for an hour at a time!
That is WAY TOO LONG for a child his age!
There are other ways to get him to sleep alone that won't involve your precious baby CIO much or at all!
What your doing isn't success at getting him to understand he needs to sleep on his own, he is GIVING UP THAT HIS PARENTS ARE THERE FOR HIM!

Alyssa said...

Hi Anonymous,
Sorry you are so offended. Actually, I'm not really that sorry. I was usually anti-cry it out but I thought I'd give it a try. He cried on and off for an hour - once not "multiple times". I am not ok with letting him cry for an hour every time he goes to bed. This was the first time we tried letting him cry without going in the room. We went in his room every 5 mins then 6 mins, etc. and it made him worse. Every child is different and we felt this was giving him false hope. I chatted with other moms and some had the same experience. So I tried anothe way, sue me. If you were at my home, you would have seen he wasn't crying hard. He was sort of whining - annoyed. He wasn't crying the whole time. He'd whimper for a little - then stop, then start again. If it was really bad, I would have gone in there. It breaks my heart hearing him cry for a second so give me a break.

Jen said...


As a mother, I'm really appauled that you would judge someone in such a harsh way. Every parent is different and they need to figure out what works best for them. It's too bad you don't know my friend because if you did you would understand that she would NEVER let her son feel like she is not there for him. If you read the post, you would know that she did not let her child cry for an hour straight, she said he was crying/whining on and off. The bottom line is that you have no right to judge someone for the way they choose to be a parent. Charlie is a perfectly happy baby and I applaud them for trying this out because it's not easy.

Rob said...

For those that haven't connected all the dots, this is Alyssa's husband.

To the Anonymous poster - good riddance.

Alyssa started this blog to share our lives with our family and friends. Alyssa is a very sweet person, and also usually very shy around people she doesn't know. The personality you see coming through this blog is not something very many people got to see before she started writing it. I'm glad she is sharing this side of herself with the world. The world would be a better place if they could see what I see, and what I fell in love with.

She could have kept this blog private, but decided not to and as such let others in to our weird little world. She opened herself up, and myself and our son along the way. The least you could do when responding in a such a critical, negative manner is post it with your actual name, and not as anonymous you gutless, in-grown pubic hair on the scrotum of life. As Jen said, without knowing Alyssa (or me) you have no right post a comment in such a fashion. Until you have the conviction to stand behind your words as you and not "anonymous", you're worthless to us and all of those that really know my wife.

That said, we are first time parents are doing the best that we can. Our pediatrician (who is board certified and very highly regarded) recommended the cry it out method to us. Until you prove to be more credible than her, shut up. Granted, one time we tried a variation on the CIO method, and the results weren't great. Was it a mistake? Maybe, maybe not. But from high up on that pedestal and behind that curtain of yours, you clearly do not have enough visibility into our lives to judge and berate us for what we are doing.

Charlie is the happiest baby I've ever seen. Outside of this latest adventure he RARELY cries. Also, he always smiles at and flirts with everyone he meets. I attribute this to the fantastic job that Alyssa does at interacting with him, and being the most nurturing, caring mother I have ever seen. I wouldn't want anyone else to be the mother of my child.

With the deepest sincerity, Anonymous, piss off.


Melissa said...

Whatever to anonymous! Oh please, Charlie knows his parents are not giving up on jim. Quite the opposite.

Maybe try to one nap with the baby? Keep him up longer than the normal first nap time and then put him down. He's sleeping pretty good and long at night, he might only need one longer nap. I think it's more important to look at the total hours he is sleeping for a 24 hour period than how many naps he gets.

Dylan only took one nap around his age. He was also a great sleeper at night. Luke was a two napper baby all the way until 15 months. Every child is different. I think Luke held on to two naps because Dylan's schedule dictated his day (still does).

Dorothy said...

Anonymous you are an asshole! It is easy to be brave and judge others when you are anonymous...nice try but FAIL to you!

Alyssa and Rob, go on with your bad selves. You are doing what is best for Charlie. You guys could not love him more.

navone said...

I feel I some how started this. It's nice to see that Alyssa's blog is being widely read, even by anonymous people, and we all know controversy creates interest. Congratulations to Alyssa for her honesty.

As our kids are going to grow up in this open blogger world, it's always nice to stop and remember some of the classic truths to live by.

Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one. Walk a mile in someone’s shoes first. If you can't say something nice, don't. And of course, read what you wrote, out loud, before pressing that send button :)

michael navone - The new parent who suggested CIO to the Wagners

Gale said...

My goodness..There certainly are some "hot-button" issues out there about parenting.

Regarding "Anonymous" who is just too overcome with grief about Charlie to read any more of Alyssa's blog, "Don't let the cyber-space door hit you in the fanny on your way out..."

In commenting about "Anonymous" and his/her "commmitment" for or against certain parenting methods, I have zero respect for his or her opinion. No, wait. That would be LESS than zero. No matter. Anyone who has witnessed "POOR BABY" Charlie's ear-to-ear grins on Alyssa's blog will see how he's given up on his parents being there for him. Yes, he is undoubtedly wrecked for life.

Now - here is some parenting advice for "Anonymous" from someone who has been around the block a few times in the child-rearing department - having raised TWO beautiful, brilliant daughters to adulthood (one of whom happens to be Alyssa)...Start saving your money, honey. Lots and lots of money. When your kid (assuming you have one or more)reaches the age of 16 you're going to want to afford to buy that kid a brand new vehicle. That's right. I mean, you don't want your kid to not like you, do you? Or "give up" that his or her parents are there for him or her, right? As I'm sure you're already aware, the best method of child-rearing is caving in to every challenge your child may present to you along the way, right? Yep, you got it.

I have great respect and am open to the sharing of ALL sorts of child-rearing points of view. But the diabribe that "Anonymous" has chosen to spew is a no-brainer. While every child is beautiful and unique, and different children require different parenting methods, one thing is constant: A coward afraid to stand behind his or her words and beliefs by retaining anonymity is still just another coward.

Gale said...

oops - make that "diatribe.." On second thought, "Anonymous" probably doesn't know the meaning of the word anyway...and yes, I'm getting a little hot under the collar here.